Trade Ryan Howard

Phillies Spring Training Tips and Tricks

I had the distinct pleasure of attending a Spring Training game down in beautiful Clearwater, Florida.  I’d like to take this opportunity to share some tips and the experience of winter baseball.

Remember When…

…for a few years after 9/11 a guy would walk through the stands of the Vet waving a huge American flag? I think it was the same guy every time and it always elicited a big ovation from the crowd. It sticks out in my memory vividly and I thought it was a great subtle reminder of our forces fighting overseas. No politics, no vehement debate, just simple acknowledgement.

Top Ten Things to do on a Phillies Day Off

1010.) Convert numbers 0-10 from decimal to binary   

1001.) Whine about the Phillies day off

1000.) Grab a happy hour beer

0111.) Exercise

0110.) Pretend you’re going to exercise and instead drink a happy hour beer

0101.) Gorge on Easter candy and enter sugar coma from 7-10pm

0100.) Visit a relative

0011.) Cook dinner

0010.) Stress about the Flyers goalie situation

0001.) Write a “top ten things to do on a Phillies day off” list 

Impilicit Social Contracts Entered as a Phillies Spectator

Having attended last night’s game on the infamous Dollar Dog night, I was reminded of some quirks that one endures or even enjoys when attending a Phillies game. These events are especially evident on Dollar Dog nights, though I have to admit the normally raucous 300-level sections were rather tame.

 There are generally accepted and uncontested aspects of attendance that anywhere else in society would not be tolerated. But the camaraderie engendered by sharing in the experience of a sporting event creates a strong bond among fellow fans.

1.) In the first, most common, occurrence at a baseball game, drunk people are tolerated and even celebrated. For a lot of us broke folks, we can’t afford the $7.50 beers but those that can or heavily pre-game in the parking lots stumble into their seats during the 3rd inning. They are generally loud and obnoxious but do not draw our normal ire.  These fans are sometimes hilarious, heckle unabashedly, and are entertainingly funny and friendly.

2.) While at a baseball game you must take out a second mortgage to drink more than two beers. Anywhere else (except  in New York City) this business practice would be reviled and customers would write to the Better Business Bureau complaining of price gouging by Philadelphia’s own Aramark. But for some reason paying $20 for a ticket and almost 8 bucks a pop for a Bud Diesel is acceptable at The Bank.

3.) Heckling in general, especially unintelligent and unreasonable heckling are tolerated, at least up until a certain threshold.  As a somewhat knowledgeable fan, there are definitely jeers and boos that are dumbfounding to me but which I accept. When opposing pitchers are booed for trying to hold our player on base, I always flinch a little bit. Not one fan makes a peep when our own pitcher attempts the same move. Additionally when there is a close call at the plate or a questionable strike, the entire crowd immediately boos the umpire who is just trying to do his (albeit unenviable) job.  The spectators insist that their visual acuity is superior to that of a man less than a foot from the play while they are more than 450 feet away in most cases.

4.) Imagine yourself walking down the litter-ridden streets of Philadelphia when a man in an obnoxiously garish yellow shirt comes striding by yelling at the top of his lungs hawking a beer that costs $7.50. This is intolerable in any reasonable society but the calls of such men (and women) are unheeded at a ballpark. Sometimes a beer, water ice, cotton candy, or ice cream is sold. No one minds passing a $20 bill across an entire row of seats and subsequently returning the food and change back to the patron, all the while not stealing any of the dollar bills whose absence may be overlooked. I must admit when the vendors are not yelling into my ear, the familiar cadence of these hard workers add to the unmistakably attractive atmosphere of a baseball game.

5.) Breaking the law by normally upstanding citizens is encouraged at baseball games. While I don’t necessarily agree with all these actions, they are fairly entertaining and hilarious. For example, running onto the field always garners a positive reaction from the crowd especially when the fan is tased (tazed?). Although I do think it is unacceptable for someone to run on the field in the middle of an inning, I do laugh when Chris Wheeler inevitably comments on the situation— “Well there’s just an absolute goofball running onto the field. What a loser.”

One of the most enjoyable games I’ve ever attended was when Jim Thome hit his 400th HR. It was the middle of summer, an extremely hot day. Later that night a thunderstorm engulfed the stadium with sheets of rain and lifted the oppressive heat and humidity familiar to Philadelphians. There was a rain delay and the loyal fans that patiently waited for the game and HR to become official went absolutely nuts. There were at minimum three buck-naked streakers that used the tarp covering the infield as a slip-and-slide. Also, a couple ran onto the field and proceeded to run into the small “garden” in centerfield. They liplocked for a few minutes and then realized they had trapped themselves in a hilarious situation. I am not sure if they were charged with the normal substantial jailtime and fines but they were great entertainment and deserved a break. As fellow Philadelphians, perhaps the ushers enjoyed their hilarity as much as us and released them without charge.

Baseball games, which some contend are long and boring, offer a lot of entertainment and a variety of normally intolerable actions are readily accepted by those in attendance. Such are the implicit social contracts entered when attending a Phillies game. They should add this stuff to the fine print on the back of the ticket next to the MLB’s waiver for bats and balls that dangerously fly into the stands.

An Ode to Dollar Dog Nights Past in Haiku Form

Dollar dogs are great
Can’t wait to go Monday night
How many to eat?

When I was younger
Tickets were easily bought
Lots of drunk school kids

My alma mater
proudly fought the Bonner kids
Yea Prep We’re so white

Security roams
The once raucous three hundreds
Suits lazily watch

To eat ten hotdogs
is my valiant challenge
I hope I don’t puke

Why the Phillies are the Best Team in Baseball

I know it’s early. I know we’ve played 9 games. I know we’ve had a crazy high BABIP. But I really think the Phillies are the best team in baseball right now.

At the very least, they’re the most fun team to watch. April is a shitty month for baseball. It’s cold, it’s windy, and hockey and basketball playoffs still loom for the next month or so. But April can really set the tone for the rest of the year. Acknowledging that, it’s very heartening to see the Phillies having FUN. There are a lot of smiles in the dugout and, more than that, they’ve stared adversity straight in the face and spat.

While some injuries have been more overblown than others, namely Brad Lidge, the loss of Utley cannot be overstated. Even Jayson Werth’s departure set a nervous tone during the winter break and into spring training. Combined, those two players had a combined WAR of 9.3 last year. That is a HUGE number. With the Braves finishing 6 games behind us in the NL East last year, the lack of Utley and Werth could have lost us the division. It’s impressive that Utley produced that much given another injury plagued season in June and July. 

So far, however, the doubts have been erased. While the pitching has unsurprisingly been stellar, the run support (GASP) has actually been good. Hamels turned around from his boo-filled first start and whipped the naysayers around 180 degrees. While violent about-faces by the fans isn’t healthy or sustainable for either the fan or the player, it was good for Cole to suck it up and stick it to the doubters. Lee had a bad outing, but his first was solid. Big Joe had one bad inning as usual, and Halladay and Oswalt have generally shut down their opponents.  Halladay’s ability to work out of jams continues to drop jaws. The bullpen has been amazing, and the 1-2 punch of Madson and Contreras is the best in baseball so far.

More importantly, however, Ben Francisco has blossomed in the starter’s role. Perhaps he will begin a renaissance like after Werth became healthy and was given the confidence to start as an everyday player, removing Geoff Jenkins from a platoon. The importance of consistent at-bats cannot be overstated and was part of my reasoning that Dom Brown’s hamate bone fracture was almost a good thing.  Furthermore, Francisco has absolutely crushed the ball. When he hasn’t had hits falling between outfielders, his outs have been screamers, nearly home runs, or just plain unlucky catches. I can’t wait to see if he can sustain this clip throughout the rest of the season.

I really like the new batting order. Even though Shane Victorino isn’t an ideal leadoff (as Jimmy Rollins wasn’t) he has been getting a lot of hits recently. He had a homerun yesterday but also slapped a couple timely hits the other way to score runners. The overall baserunning agressiveness has been markedly better early in the year (despite Davey Lopes’ departure), and some observers note that the Phillies are finally playing “small ball.” Their pinch hitting is off to a stellar start after faltering last year with the waning Greg Dobbs mostly to blame.

Perhaps the most mind-boggling fact of the early season is red-hot Ryan Howard. Trust me, I am happy he is doing so well! Even given the cold weather, he has been smashing balls left and right. Smashing balls to left is a good sign that he is sitting on the ball and making contact. His sheer size and strength singe the ball deep without a need to pull. Some of his production has certainly been helped by having runners on base in front of him in order to beat the shift.  At one point his average was higher than his on-base percentage (because sacrifices don’t count towards OBP).

If these players keep producing at 75% or even 50% of their current levels, this will be one heck of a fun year.